Deityblog

Just read this hilarious piece off of wandering stu
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40520/2

Sorry, I'm an html moron.

The article was funny, but sobering because it's pretty much how I feel this time of year. Dirshu Hashem BiHimatzo--seek out God when God is close. God is always close, but in Elul we're supposed to have more kavanah about it, be a little more carpe diem with the whole be a better person thing. I'm ruminating on this, because every year the contemplation gets put off until Rosh Hashanah itself, and then the actual manifestation leaves much to be desired.

TESHUVAH: working on lashon hora, working on being more patient, less lazy and selfish, and more giving in my marriage. learning more, and on a regular basis. Being less self-indulgent, and not watching "Fear Factor" anymore. I mean seriously.
but also--doing more to actively, physically get involved in Katrina relief. Working against genocide in Darfur instead of just getting angry when other Jews aren't (yes, I can spell "projection"). To name a small few.

TEFILAH: Never have I had, at once, so much to praise God for and thank God for, and also so much to pray for. And never has my davening been so shvach (yeshivish for "crappy"). So what's going to change? I think it has to be practical--going to bed earlier, so I can concentrate on tefilah the next morning and have time to get into kavanah beforehand. Maybe it's that simple. I think I also need to find times during the day when I can just talk to God--other than right before sleep when I doze off in the middle. Maybe talking to God will help me hear God more, knocking on the inside and from outside as well.

TZEDAKAH: Katrina, Bustan, Darfur, there's no end to the suffering going on right now. Tzedakah is a challenge, as newlyweds working at Jewish non-profits, so I'm trying, with God's help, to focus on volunteer work. PSA--if anyone wants to come along, I'm helping in the food distribution effort for Katrina survivors at the DC Armory this weekend. Check out more info at DC Central Kitchen (dccentralkitchen.org).

And more. And more. And perhaps maybe then I'll hear the kol demamah dakah.

Love and blessings to all.

To add a bit of cheer and hope for humanity, here are some photos from this year's Sulha (courtesy of Akiva):

Erin Felarca, pictured on the left here, died last week in an apparent suicide. She was in a theater class with me, and had a sense of confidence and conviction that was inspiring. She will be missed.

Something good needs to happen very soon.

I've been resisting writing more, because I hate recanting the past, and then, you know, life goes on, God willing, and you find yourself even more removed from the situation than you were before. So, in a nutshell:

1) Sulha rocked, especially the intense sicha in the Beit Tfilah on the last day. Wow. You had to be there. And it was just amazing seeing everyone again, and seeing Laura's film from last year. Check it out: www.roadtosulha.com. Follows the stories of Rana and Nevim, people I met last year, and others, encountering the Sulha. Has its ups and downs, but generally very worthwhile. I caught glimpses of myself, and there were two incredible scenes with Casey and Sarit. Casey was interviewed saying how he'd never met his neighbors in the West Bank, living in Bat Ayin all of these years, and how it was a very meaningful experience for him. Sarit, wow. I can't believe they captured this on camera. There was this beautiful moment where it was after lunch, and were in the chader ochel with about four Palestinian guys, and none of us were talking between the groups. Sarit takes a paper cup, and says, "Humans, play with me." And we all played Keep the Cup in the Air for about half an hour. It was great.

2) Long story short, Yaakov and I are the new co-Directors of Development for Bustan, an environmental peace agency based in Nachlaot, that does work with marginalized communities in Israel (specifically Bedouin at the moment). It's an incredible organization headed by a true tzadeket, the one and only Devorah Brous, and we're spectacularly lucky to have this opportunity. Check it out: www.bustan.org.

3) Katrina. That bitch. Up yours, Katrina. No, but seriously. It's been a tremendously difficult couple of weeks. Confusion, anger, and deep, deep sadness. FEMA, Bush, I don't even have the words. Beyond sickening. I'm getting involved in the volunteer effort by helping survivors being housed temporarily at the DC Armory. I would say more, but I'm of the mind at this point thta I'd rather do than say.

4) Eric Singer's daughter died. Her name was Ariel, she was 18. She was hiking in a cave with some friends in Utah, and they couldn't get out, and all drowned. So, so horrible. He's my favorite professor at Goucher, a brilliant loner with a cynical sense of humor and affection for Communism. This is just awful.

5) Shmittens. Adopted two kittens, Sammy Davis Jr. (he's black and Jewish) and Blackbeard. Yaakov and I are both so in love with them, they're already like our kids--almost :-) We have to constantly vacuum and dust to make sure my allergy-prone family can visit, and we have to hide them from the management. So far, so good. They're wonderful, they're keeping us young.