Deityblog

Just read this hilarious piece off of wandering stu
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40520/2

Sorry, I'm an html moron.

The article was funny, but sobering because it's pretty much how I feel this time of year. Dirshu Hashem BiHimatzo--seek out God when God is close. God is always close, but in Elul we're supposed to have more kavanah about it, be a little more carpe diem with the whole be a better person thing. I'm ruminating on this, because every year the contemplation gets put off until Rosh Hashanah itself, and then the actual manifestation leaves much to be desired.

TESHUVAH: working on lashon hora, working on being more patient, less lazy and selfish, and more giving in my marriage. learning more, and on a regular basis. Being less self-indulgent, and not watching "Fear Factor" anymore. I mean seriously.
but also--doing more to actively, physically get involved in Katrina relief. Working against genocide in Darfur instead of just getting angry when other Jews aren't (yes, I can spell "projection"). To name a small few.

TEFILAH: Never have I had, at once, so much to praise God for and thank God for, and also so much to pray for. And never has my davening been so shvach (yeshivish for "crappy"). So what's going to change? I think it has to be practical--going to bed earlier, so I can concentrate on tefilah the next morning and have time to get into kavanah beforehand. Maybe it's that simple. I think I also need to find times during the day when I can just talk to God--other than right before sleep when I doze off in the middle. Maybe talking to God will help me hear God more, knocking on the inside and from outside as well.

TZEDAKAH: Katrina, Bustan, Darfur, there's no end to the suffering going on right now. Tzedakah is a challenge, as newlyweds working at Jewish non-profits, so I'm trying, with God's help, to focus on volunteer work. PSA--if anyone wants to come along, I'm helping in the food distribution effort for Katrina survivors at the DC Armory this weekend. Check out more info at DC Central Kitchen (dccentralkitchen.org).

And more. And more. And perhaps maybe then I'll hear the kol demamah dakah.

Love and blessings to all.