Deityblog

One Day Earlier

"What would you say you would want to change about your life, if anything was possible?" He asks me, his gaze level behind thick rimless glasses.
Instantly, I answer, "I would want to have my shit together."
"Interesting." He shifts in his chair, perhaps uncomfortable with my profanity. "Meaning?"
"To be able to have all the little balls in the air nailed down, and not be so overwhelmed by every little thing I have to do. It's keeping me from tackling the big things I want to do in my life." Are there really people out there who don't ever feel this way, who go through life completely unencumbered by crippling anxiety? Who are these people, and what kind of meds are they on?
"Have you tried making lists, Miranda?"
"Yes, but then when I don't get it all done I feel even worse about myself."
"Ah, perhaps you're making your lists too aspirational."
I blink. "Meaning?"
"Try having lower expectations of yourself."
The alarm buzzes.
"Aaaand our time is up, Miranda. Why don't you work on that and we'll see you next week?"